Nothing Ever Ends is in many ways the beginning of the Eververse series. It’s also the end of years of a lonely, damaging struggle to try and overcome the disaster that was my first novel.

Ten years ago, I thought I’d never write another book. I sold The Book Of Elizabeth to a small press in 2007. I was ecstatic. This was the realization of my lifelong dream. The book was slated to come out in 2009 and then, it was off to the races. I was going to make all these books come true.

But nothing happened.

For years. It was 2011 before I had the courage to confront my editor over what would have been obvious to more experienced or secure writers – the book was never coming out.

A lack of communication, a cascade of excuses, and ultimately a violation of the contract I had signed led me to take the book back. I had no leverage or protection in the relationship, as I didn’t have an agent. I bought into every reason for the endless delays. I needed to. My entire career and identity were bound up in this book.

I published it on my own in late 2011 in a fit of anger and “I’ll show you” fist-shaking at the sky. I’m proud of the book and standing up for myself, but the experience left deep scars that may not be visible to others but have left me hobbled. Even before publishing it, the uncertainty and confusion over what was happening with my contract – I had signed for two books, and the second was even more in limbo – paralyzed my writing.

I couldn’t write anything, for years. I couldn’t finish anything. The experience left me in severe doubt of myself, my work, and my value as a person. The only thing I gained from the publisher was years of utter despair. I intended to write a sequel to The Book Of Elizabeth and wrote hundreds of pages of attempts, but nothing worked.

Finally, in 2014, I broke through. I broke free. I wrote the first draft of what would become A Country Of Eternal Light. That led to the dam breaking with what would become the first three books of the Eververse, all drafted between 2016 and 2018. It would be another two years before I would publish Ever The Hero.

I made attempts to find an agent and publisher, but I think I always knew I was going to pursue these books as an independent artist. I was too burned by traditional means and too wary to truly be as motivated as I probably should have been to find a representative for my work.

In some ways, I feel like I have put my experience behind me. I got knocked down. I got back up. I found value in myself again. I found value in my work. But even throughout the last two years of writing and publishing and moving forward, the shadow of The Book Of Elizabeth still hung over me.

Miranda did.

The Book Of Elizabeth is deeply frustrating to me for many reasons. Mostly because I see the book for what it isn’t. My real discovery in the novel was the character of Miranda, a child agent of a fascist state who is far too successful in embodying their inhumanity. I always intended to go back to Miranda.

In Nothing Ever Ends, I finally do.

I’ll leave it to readers to discover how, but fans of that book – all three of you – may have noticed some context clues in Ever The Hero that could link the crisis of The Book Of Elizabeth to that of the Eververse. Miranda’s role in the new book is significant, not just in terms of the plot, but also in finally moving on from all this.

As the release for Nothing Ever Ends approaches, I’ve been very down and anxious. I’m not sure why. I should be relieved. Part of it I think is because I fear another failure, another mistake, another loss of time and faith in myself. The time and promise of an artist are too precious to be wasted by the artless.

I’m also nervous about Miranda, but excited for fans to rediscover her or really, meet her for the first time. This book is liberating in so many ways. Miranda and her story, her world, pull free finally from their origins. She’s got her own journey which I hope to follow in future stories, wherever they lead.

I’m on my path now, too. It’s my own. I’ve made it with each step. It may have begun in shadow and doubt, but I’ve found the clearing. There’s no going back and no looking back.

Only forward.